Content warning: This story discusses suicide.
"This is a first-hand account of Harry and Meghan's story, told with never before seen personal archive. All interviews were completed by August 2022."
That is the title card that appears when you first press play on Harry & Meghan, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's revealing new Netflix docuseries. With the couple's Archewell Productions serving as one of the production companies involved in the project, the highly anticipated show premiered globally on Dec. 8 and jumped right in with self-taped video diaries by its two titular subjects.
The footage was captured in March 2020, just as the couple was performing their last public engagement as active members of the royal family, and Harry immediately addresses his shocking decision to give up his title.
"My job is to keep my family safe," the royal, currently fifth in line to the British throne, explains, while sitting in a private suite at London's Heathrow Airport. "But the nature of being born into this position amid everything that comes with it and the level of hate that is being stirred up in the last three years, especially against my wife and my son, I'm generally concerned for the safety of my family."
Meghan, meanwhile, is first seen in Vancouver, Canada, sitting with her hair wrapped in a bath towel.
"H is in London and I am here, I don't even know where to begin. I just really want to get to the other side of all of this," Meghan says, just before beginning to cry. "Um, I don't know what to say anymore. Unfortunately, in not standing for something, they are destroying us."
The "they" in question seems to be both the royal family and the British media, each of whom Harry calls out in the series' opening scene.
"This is about duty and service and I feel as though being part of this family is my duty to uncover this exploitation and bribery that happens within our media," Harry says. "This isn't just about our story. This has always been so much bigger than us. No one knows the full truth. We know the full truth. The institution knows the full truth and the media knows the full truth because they've been in on it."
Now, in full control of their own narrative for the first time, Harry and Meghan finally spilled the entire damn pot of English breakfast tea, with the final three episodes of the series dropping on Dec. 15.
(A title card at the beginning reads, "Members of the Royal Family declined to comment on the content within this series." Though a senior royal source told NBC News that neither Buckingham Palace, Kensington Palace nor any members of the royal family were approached for comment, a Netflix source tells E! News that communications teams for both King Charles III and Prince William were contacted ahead of the release. NBC News and E! News are both part of NBCUniversal.)
"I'm not going to say that it's comfortable," Meghan says of making the documentary. "But when you feel like people haven't gotten any sense of who you are for so long, it's really nice to just be able to have the opportunity to let people have a bit more of a glimpse into what's happened and also who we are."
So grab a cuppa and settle in because here is every bombshell from Harry & Meghan.
In episode four, Meghan Markle discusses her suicidal ideation, which she previously opened up about during the couple's 2021 sitdown with Oprah Winfrey.
"It was like, 'All of this will stop if I'm not here,' and that was the scariest thing about it," Meghan explains in the docuseries. "That it was such clear thinking."
Meghan opened up about her suicidal thoughts to her mother, Doria Ragland, who reflects on her reaction to the devastating time. "That really broke my heart," Doria explains, "because I knew that it was bad, but to just constantly be picked up by these vultures, just picking away at her spirit, that she would actually think of not wanting to be here, that's not an easy one for a mom to hear."
As for Prince Harry, he says he was "devastated" after his wife revealed how dark things had gotten.
"We were both struggling," he continues. "But I never thought that it would get to that stage and the fact that it got to that stage, I felt angry and ashamed."
Harry then admits he feels remorse for how he initially handled Meghan's situation.
"I didn't deal with it particularly well," he says. "I dealt with it as institutional Harry as opposed to husband Harry. And what took over my feelings was my royal role. I had been trained to worry more about what are people gonna think if we don't go to this event, we are going to be late."
"Looking back on it now," Harry reflects, "I hate myself for it. What she needed from me was so much more than I was able to give."
While she was a member of the royal family, Meghan says she wanted to seek professional help, but was told that "she wasn't allowed to," Meghan explains. As she puts it, "They were concerned about how that would look for the institution.
Harry notes that the palace knew "how bad" it was but didn't offer any support. "They thought, 'Why couldn't she just deal with it,'" Harry explains. "As if to say, 'Well, you know, everybody else has dealt with it, why can't she deal with it?'"
But, Harry stressed that what was happening with Meghan was "really different" and expressed to his family that he wanted to be able to have "private conversations" with the media for their treatment of his wife. But the pleas were ignored.
"My Dad said to me, 'Darling boy you can't take on the media. The media will always be the media,'" Harry reveals. "I said, 'I disagree.'"
And Harry says that the media frenzy around Meghan continued because "it was already clear to the media that the palace wasn't going to protect her."
As Meghan explains in episode five, she was left to fend for herself. "I realized that I wasn't just being thrown to the wolves," she says, "I was being fed to the wolves."
Harry and Meghan reveal they realized there was a shift in how they were treated by the family when they spent the night at Buckingham Palace after attending an official event with all the senior members of the royal family in 2018. As they arrived for breakfast, the newspaper on the table featured only Meghan on the cover.
When Meghan expressed to Harry at the time that the media coverage was not her fault, he says, "I went, 'I know. And my mom felt the same way.'"
Harry then explains the complicated line members of the royal family walk when it come to media attention.
"The issue is when someone who is marrying in, who should be a supporting act, is then stealing the limelight or doing the job better than someone else...that upsets people," he says. "It shifts the balance because that the only way that your charities can succeed and the only way that your reputation can be grown or improved is if you're on the front page of those newspapers. But the media are the ones who chose who to put on the front page."
In episode five, Harry says that the couple had received approval from the palace to move to South Africa in 2019, which his brother, father and grandmother all were aware of.
"No one else knew, it was an internal document, and then it was leaked to the Times newspaper," Harry says. "Then that whole plan was then scrapped. Once plans like that become public debate, nine times out of 10, it's going to fail."
So, when they came up with the plan to move to Canda a year later, Harry was hesitant to put the request in writing—though he ultimately did so because Charles asked him to.
However, several days later, their private proposal was making headlines, with Harry believing the institution leaked the news.
"The key piece of that story that made me aware that the contents of the letter between me and my father had been leaked was that we were willing to relinquish our Sussex titles—that was the giveaway," Harry says. "I was like, 'Wow. Our story, our life, literally got taken from underneath us."
As the couple address their decision to give up their titles, Harry says the "sddest part" was the "wedge" it created between him and Prince William, detailing his brother's shocking reaction to the news. He notes, "It was terrifying to have my brother scream and shout at me," Harry reveals.
"Now he's on the institution's side. And part of that, I get," Harry continues. "I understand, that's his inheritance. So to some extent it's already ingrained in him that part of his responsibility is the survivability and the continuation of the institution."
He all but confirms the reports of William "bullying" the couple out of the royal family explaining that a joint statement put out on behalf of the brothers amid tabloid rumors was something that he actually had no part in. "I couldn't believe it," Harry admits. "No one had asked me permission to put my name to a statement like that."
He adds that Meghan "burst into tears" when he told her about the statement.
"Because within four hours, they were happy to lie to protect my brother," Harry explains, "and yet, for three years, they were never willing to tell the truth to protect us."
After their request to move to Canada and step away from their positions as senior members of the royal family was made public, Harry says he sent an e-mail to the three senior-most palace private secretaries asking for a meeting, which was initially rejected. However, after Meghan returned to Canada, "it was only then that the meeting happened." Harry adds that it was "clear" to him that they had "planned" it so that Meghan would not be present.
"Imagine a conversation, a round table discussion, about the future of your life when the stakes are this high," Meghan explains, "and you, as the mom and the wife and the target in many regards, are not invited to have a seat at the table."
In that meeting with Queen Elizabeth II, his father and his brother, Harry reveals that he was presented with five options—"one being all in, no change, five being all out." He says he "chose option three, half in, half out," where the couple would "have our own jobs, but also work in support of the Queen."
However, he adds that "It became very clear very quickly, that goal was not up for discussion or debate."
And while his father and brother led the charge during meeting, Harry notes that his grandmother just "quietly" sat there, though he understood the position she was in, as Queen "her ultimate mission, goal slash responsibility, is the institution."
Noting that the encounter was "really hard," Harry says he left the meeting "without any solidified action plan," and he believes his family still didn't understand where he and Meghan were coming from.
"From their perspective, they had to believe that it was more about us and maybe the issues that we had," Harry explains, "as opposed to their partner, the media, and themselves and that relationship that was causing so much pain for us. They saw what they wanted to see."
Harry and Meghan made their last public appearance as senior royals at the March 9 Commonwealth service at Westminster Abbey and Harry admits he was "nervous" to see hs family members, especially because the world was watching.
"It's like living through a soap opera where everyone else views you as entertainment," Harry shares. "I felt really distant from my family, which was really interesting because of so much of how they operate is about what it looks like rather than what it feels like. And it looked cold, but it also felt cold."
After the event, Meghan immediately flew back to Canada, where she details her emotional encounter with one of Harry's long-serving security guards once she arrived.
"I just collapsed in his arms, crying," Meghan admits. "I was like, 'I tried so hard.' He was like, 'I know you did, ma'am, I know you did."
Tearing up, Meghan continues, "Like, I tried so hard. And that's the piece that's so triggering because you go, ‘And it still wasn't good enough and you still don't fit in.'
In episode four, Harry details the "dirty game" that he says privately brews between the royal family's communications team, which plays out in the press.
There's leaking, but there's also planting stories," Harry explains. "So if the comms team want to be able to remove negative story about their principle, they will trade and give you something about someone else's principle."
And, after seeing how their father's office handled the media, Harry says he and Prince William had made an "agreement" that they would never let that happen with the team.
But in 2018, their office split into two sepaate entities, which first kicked off the rumors of a feud between the two brothers. And around this time, Harry watched his brother break this vow.
"I would far rather get destroyed in the press than play along with this game or business of trading," Harry says. "And to see my brother's office copy the very same thing that we promised the two of us would never ever do, that was heartbreaking."
In April 2021, Harry reunited with his family for the first time since moving to the U.S. when he flew back to the U.K. for his grandfather Prince Phillip's funeral. He described talking to his brother and father as "hard," explaining that Charles and William were "very much just focused on the same misinterpretation of the whole situation."
While he says the trio "never really wanted to have to talk about it at my grandfather's funeral," they ultimately did, though they didn't quite come to a satisfactory understanding.
As Harry expresses, "I've had to make peace with the fact that we're probably never going to get genuine accountability or a genuine apology."
The writer and director first reached out to Meghan leading up to the royal wedding after seeing negative stories in the press about her father, Thomas Markle. But they didn't actually meet in person until she reached out to him asking for his help in in 2020 when the couple needed a safe place to stay as the world entered lockdown due to COVID-19.
Tyler helped the family travel to his $18 million estate in Los Angeles, ad provided security, telling them, "I'm going to get you there safely and I am going to keep you here safely until you have somewhere to go." Harry and Meghan secretly stayed at his home for six weeks and it's where their now 3-year-old son Archie took his first steps.
The couple and filmmaker became so close that they chose Tyler to be their one-year-old daughter Lilibet's godfather. But he admitted that he refused to travel to the UK for her christening because he didn't want to "do all of that in the church with them and figure all of that out," Tyler explains.
He adds, "Maybe we can do a private ceremony here and let that be that. And if you have to do it there, then that's okay."
Reflecting on their decision to sue the Mail on Sunday after the published the private letter Meghan wrote to her father in 2018, Meghan says, "Everything changed after that. That litigation was the catalyst for probably all of the unraveling."
Meghan initially wrote the note to Thomas after the Queen and Charles advised her to do so. When she met with the lawyers and senior members of the royal family after it was leaked, she says she knew that the newspaper felt comfortable publishing the content of a private letter because they "knew the family would encourage us not to sue." But, after months of silence from the palace, Harry says the couple decided to take "separate legal advice."
They ultimately turned to Jenny Afia, the head of legal at Schillings in London, who represented Meghan in her legal battle.
"There was a real kind of war against Meghan," Jenny says in the docuseries. "I've certainly seen evidence that there was negative briefing from the palace against Harry and Meghan to suit other people's agendas."
Meghan ultimately won the privacy case in February 2021, with a U.K. High Court judge granted the Duchess of Sussex "summary judgment" in her claim for misuse of private information against the British tabloid.
In November 2020, Meghan wrote a personal essay for The New York Times in which she shared she had suffered a miscarriage that July. The couple reflects on their painful loss in episode six of the docuseries, with Harry blaming the intense legal battle between Meghan and the Mail on Sunday.
"I believe my wife suffered a miscarriage because of what the Mail did," he claims. "Now, do we absolutely know that the miscarriage was created, caused by that? Course we don't. But bearing in mind the stress that that caused, the lack of sleep and the timing of the pregnancy, how many weeks in she was. I can say, from what I saw, that miscarriage was created by what they were trying to do to her."
As for her decision to share her story publicly, Meghan says she wants people to know "it's okay to talk about" these moments of vulnerability.
"I could make the choice to never talk about those things," she shares, "or I could make the choice to say, 'With all the bad that comes with this, the good is being ale to help other people.' That is the point of life: Connection and community like that."
In a cute moment filmed after their bombshell March 2021 interview with Oprah, Harry and Meghan have no chill when Meghan says Beyoncé has sent her a text message. "Shut up," Harry gasps, before Meghan—who admits, "I still can't believe she knows who I am"—shares what the Grammy winner wrote.
"She said she wants me to feel safe and protected," Meghan reads. "She admires and respects my bravery and vulnerability and thinks I was selected to break generational curses that need to be healed."
Harry responds, "That's well said."
But Beyonce wasn't the only person to reach out to the couple after the Oprah special aired, as Harry receives a text from his older brother, though he doesn't share contents of the message.
After reading the message, he sighs, "I wish I knew what to do."
In 2016, Meghan was on hiatus from her star-making gig on USA's Suits, fresh out of a relationship and ready to embark on what pal Lucy Fraser called her "single girl summer." Basically she had it all already figured out.
"I had a career, I had my life, I had my path and then came H," Meghan explains. "I mean, talk about a plot twist."
And it was all because of the doggy ears filter on Snapchat, which is how Harry saw Meghan for the first time on their mutual friend's Instagram account. "That was the first thing and I was like, 'Who is that?'" Harry recalls.
A private e-mail the friend sent to Meghan about Harry is then shown, which says that "Prince Haz" is "dying to meet you." Meghan's response? "Who is Prince Haz????"
Meghan then explains she asked to see his Instagram feed before agreeing to meet him.
"So that's the thing. When people say, 'Did you Google him?' No, but that's your homework," she explains. "You're, like, let me see what they're about in their feed, not what someone else says about them, but what they are putting out about themselves. So I went through and it was just like beautiful photography and all these environmental shots and this time he was spending in Africa."
Shortly after, they began texting and "were constantly in touch," according to Meghan, before they finally made a plan to meet for a drink at 76 Dean Street while she was in London for Wimbledon.
While many believe they have a fairy tale romance, their relationship was almost over before it began with Harry was 30 minutes late for their first date. "I couldn't understand why he would be late," Meghan recalls, explaining she thought his tardiness was because he had an ego.
But Harry was actually stuck in traffic, and he admits, "I was panicking. I was freaking out. I was, like, sweating...and then when I walked in, a hot, sweaty, red ball of mess."
Meghan was quickly charmed by Harry, telling him during their interview, "You were just so sweet. You were genuinely so embarrassed."
Despite his late arrival, the pair quickly hit it off. "He was just so fun. Just so refreshingly fun," Meghan gushes. "And that was the thing, we were, like, childlike together."
After witnessing how Princess Diana was treated by the media during her marriage to King Charles III and then in the aftermath of their official separation in 1992, Harry says he began to understand the "pain and suffering" that women who marry into the royal family endure.
"I remember thinking, 'How could I ever find someone who is willing and capable to be able to withstand all of the baggage that comes with being with me?'" he says. "Every relationship that I had, within a matter of weeks or months, was splattered all over the newspapers and that person's family harassed and their lives turned upside down."
And after he met Meghan, he admits he was "terrified of her being driven away by the media, the same media that had driven so many other people away from me."
Despite that "fear," Harry found himself falling in love with Meghan the more he got to know her, he says: "I just opened my heart to see what's going to happen."
In the first episode, Harry opens up about grappling with his royal duties in the aftermath of Diana's fatal car crash in 1997 and the pressure that was put on him and Prince William.
"When my mom died, we had two hats to wear," he explains. "One was two grieving sons, wanting to cry, grieve, and process that grief because of losing our mom. And two was the royal hat, show no emotion, get out there, meet the people, shake their hands."
Harry continued, "The UK literally swept me and William up as their children," and, along with that, came, "an expectation to see myself and William out and about was really hard for the two of us."
And when Harry began attending Eton College at the age of 13, the same paparazzi attention that had been focused on his mother "started happening to us," he said, going on to reference the negative tabloid stories about his partying and dating.
"There's a difference between having to accept, okay, we have this position in the family and therefore there's going to be a level of interest and being swarmed by paparazzi, chasing you in cars through red lights," Harry says. "And then chasing you down the road on foot, which probably happened about 40 times when I was younger. It was too much. Everything that was happening in the UK was so intense. I was trying to balance the experience of being a young boy who was trying to deal with the loss of his mom without much support or help or guidance. It didn't seem right, it didn't seem fair."
In a sweet moment in the first episode, it's revealed that there is a portrait of Diana hanging in Archie's nursery. As Meghan cradles her son in her arms, she point to the picture and says, "That's your Grandma Diana."
Given Harry's strong connection to Africa, which he first visited at the age of 18, he knew it was "absolutely critical to share it" with Meghan. So, in August 2016, he invited her on a trip to Botswana with him.
"I was astonished that she said yes," Harry admits. "This woman that I've only met twice, we are going to be living in a tent together for 10 days? Wow."
While Meghan says, "It was very awkward at first—I just remembered he handed me a chicken sandwich," the new couple quickly became comfortable around one another, despite having no Internet access or a working bathroom.
"You put a lot of faith and a lot of trust in me," Harry says to Meghan. "It just felt so right and felt so normal."
Meghan adds, "Thankfully, we really liked each other."
When asked to recall if there was a moment he knew his family was different, Harry says there isn't one specific event he can point to and that it was more of a "gradual" awareness.
"My childhood...was filled with laughter, filled with happiness and filled with adventure," Harry says, before revealing, "I don't have many early memories of my mom. It was almost like, internally, I blocked them out." But, he says, "I always remember her laugh, her cheeky laugh."
Given the level of attention that his family, and especially Diana, received at the time, "The majority of my memories are of being swarmed by the paparazzi," Harry recalls. "Within the family, within the system, the advice that's always given is 'Don't react. Don't feed into it.'"
Reflecting on the impact the public pressure had on his mother and "witnessing those tears," Harry says, "I guess those are the moments when I thought, 'Hang on a little, what am I? Who am I? What am I part of?'"
While reflecting on a ski trip he was taken on as a child, where he was asked to pose for traveling media—"I remember feeling really uncomfortable from the get-go"—Harry commended Diana for advocating for his and William's privacy when the photographers refused to stop following them.
"My mom did such a good job in trying to protect us," he says. "She took it upon herself to basically confront these people." He then goes on to acknowledge the 1995 sit-down with journalist Martin Bashir that some 23 million people watched with rapt attention on the BBC's Panorama.
"I think she had a lived experience of how she was struggling, living that life," Harry explains. "She felt compelled to talk about it, especially in that Panorama interview. I think we all now know she was deceived into giving the interview. But at the same time, she spoke the truth of her experience. My mom was harassed throughout her life with my dad. But after they separated, the harassment went to new levels."
In the second episode, Harry compares the paparazzi attention he and Meghan receive to what Diana endured.
"Back in my mom's days, it was physical harassment. They had cameras in your face, following you, chasing you," Harry explains. "Paparazzi still harass people. The harassment really exists more online now. Once the photographs are out and the story is then put next to it, then comes the social media harassment."
And, for Harry, it was quite "hard" for him "to see another woman in my life who I love go through this feeding frenzy. It is basically the hunter versus the prey."
Fortunately, that is not the only comparison Harry can make between his wife and his late mother.
"So much of what Meghan is and how she is, is so similar to my mom," he says in the first episode. "She has the same compassion, she has the same empathy, she has the same confidence, she has this warmth about her."
And while Harry can "accept" that some people will "fundamentally disagree" with his decision to leave the royal family, he explains, "I knew that I had to do everything I could to protect my family, especially after what happened to my mom. I didn't want history to repeat itself."
When Harry first introduced his new girlfriend to his family, he says they were "incredibly impressed" by Meghan.
"Some of them didn't quite know what to do with themselves," Harry admits with a laugh. "They were surprised that a ginger could land such a beautiful woman and such an intelligent woman."
However, it was her profession that initially gave some members of the family reservations about their relationship.
"The fact that I was dating an American actress was probably what clouded their judgment more than anything else in the beginning," Harry shares. "'Oh, she's an American actress, this won't last.'"
Meghan adds, "The actress thing was the biggest problem, funny enough. There was a big idea of what that looks like from the UK standpoint, Hollywood, and it was just very easy for them to typecast that."
After their relationship went public, both Harry and Meghan admit to being surprised by what they called "racial undertones" and then "outright racism" from certain media outlets. "At that time, I wasn't thinking about how race played a part in any of this," Meghan says. "I genuinely didn't think about it."
Upset over the treatment Meghan was receiving, Harry says he was told to not say anything by the palace.
"But what people need to understand is, as far as a lot of the family were concerned, everything that she was being put through, they had been put through as well," Harry explains. "So it was almost like a rite of passage. Some of the members of the family were like, 'But my wife had to go through that, so why should your girlfriend be treated any differently? Why should you get special treatment? Why should she be protected?' And I said, 'The difference here is the race element.'"
Harry ultimately went against the palace's protocol, issuing a statement in November 2016 that condemned the "abuse and harassment" Meghan was being subjected to by the media.
Despite Harry's efforts, the media's treatment of Meghan didn't change. But at the time of their engagement in 2017, Meghan said she still believed what she was being told by the royal family.
"'It will pass, it will get better. It's just what they do right at the very beginning,'" Meghan shares. "This promise of, 'Once you're married, don't worry, it will get better. Once they get used to you, it will get better, of course it will get better.' But truth be told, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how good I was, no matter what I did, they were still going to find a way to destroy me."
While discussing her naïveté when it came to royal customs, Meghan opens up about the first time she met her future brother-in-law and his wife, Kate Middleton, when they came over for dinner.
"I remember I was in ripped jeans and I was barefoot," Meghan recalls. "I was a hugger, I've always been a hugger. I didn't realize that that is really jarring for a lot of Brits."
And the formality between Meghan and the couple continued throughout the encounter, she shared.
"I started to understand very quickly that the formality on the outside carried through on the inside," she explains. "That there is a forward-facing way of being and then you close the door and go, 'Oh great, okay, we can relax now.' But that formality carries over on both sides and that was surprising to me."
In episode three, Harry addresses the 2005 incident where he wore a Nazi uniform to a costume party, calling it "one of the biggest mistakes of my life."
"I felt so ashamed afterwards," he continues. "All I wanted to do was make it right."
After the scandal, Harry met with the chief rabbi in London—which he said "had a profound impact" on him—and he also traveled to Berlin to speak with a Holocaust survivor.
"I could have just ignored it and just got on and probably made the same mistakes over and over in my life," Harry explains. "But I learned from that."
In the same episode, Harry discusses the 2017 controversy when Princess Michael of Kent, who is married to Queen Elizabeth's first cousin, wore a "racist" brooch when meeting Meghan.
"In this family sometimes you're part of the problem rather than part of the solution, and there is a huge level of unconscious bias," Harry says. "The thing with unconscious bias is it's actually no one's fault. But once it's been pointed out or identified within yourself, you then need to make it right. It's education, it's awareness. And it's a constant work in progress for everybody, including me."
While Meghan doesn't have a relationship with her outspoken half-sister Samantha Markle, she has a close bond with Samantha's daughter Ashleigh Hale, who appears in the docuseries. Raised by her paternal grandparents, Ashleigh and Meghan forged a friendship after Samantha reconnected with her daughter in 2007 and Thomas Markle gave Meghan Ashleigh's email address.
"There's a sister element, there's something maternal," Ashleigh says of Meghan. "She's a best friend, she's kind of all the things." And after Samantha began speaking out against Meghan in the press, Ashleigh "stopped talking" to her mother. Which is what made the decision to not invite Ashleigh to her 2018 wedding "painful" for Meghan.
Explaining that they shared a "small" communications team with William and Kate, Meghan says that the "guidance" at the time was to not to have her niece at their nuptials because, as she recalled they put it, "'How do we explain that this half-sister isn't invited to the wedding, but that the half-sister's daughter is?'"
Meghan and Harry called Ashleigh to explain the situation, an emotional conversation that Ashleigh reflected on.
"I think I said I was hurt on some level, but I understood where it was coming from," she says. "To know that it was because of my biological mother that this relationship was so important to me was impacted in that way. To feel like because of her it was taken away. It's been hard."
Leading up to their May 2018 public ceremony, Meghan says the couple was "playing Whac-a-mole" trying to stop the negative stories that were being put out by her half-sister Samantha, other family members and people who claimed to have connections to Meghan in the press. "And then it started to get scary," Meghan continues, when she was sent an envelope containing white powder.
As this was on the heels of the terrorist attacks in London, "there was so much concern about the wedding," Meghan explains. "It was just so scary. They were talking about getting snipers. Behind the scenes of all of that, I was just turtling."
Just days before her wedding, staged pictures of Meghan's father made their way to the press and the palace's communications team believed he was paid to pose for them. When Meghan and Harry called Thomas to ask for the truth, he denied receiving money from the tabloids. But, Meghan says, "When we hung up, I looked at H and I was like, 'I don't know why but I don't believe him.'"
Things continued to unravel. Though Thomas didn't answer her phone calls, Meghan learned from TMZ he was no longer planning to attend the wedding. Recounting how she continued to get radio silence from her father—even after learning he was in the hospital—the pair flashed visuals of her various text messages to him.
And when Meghan did finally receive a response, it read: "I've done nothing to hurt you Meghan or anyone else I know nothing about 20 phone calls I'm sorry my heart attack is there any inconvenience for you."
Meghan found his response "weird," she says, because "it was not the way he normally texts. It was the opposite." Most notably, he called her Meghan in the message, which she says, "He's never called me [that] a day in my life. It's always been Meg." Because of that, "We kew that his phone had been compromised."
Speaking publicly for the first time in the docuseries, Meghan's mother Doria Ragland says she was "absolutely stunned" that her ex-husband became "part of this circus."
"I felt sad that the media would run with this," Doria says. "That he would capitalize…certainly as a parent, that's not what you do. That's not parenting."
The couple shares intimate details about their 2018 wedding, including how Meghan wanted to spend her morning.
"All I wanted was a mimosa, a croissant and to play the song "Going to the Chapel," she says. "So I did and it was great."
Meghan then reveals Harry chose the song she walked down the aisle to and that their first dance song was Wilson Pickett's "Land of a Thousand Dances."
And when Harry was asked what he was thinking when Meghan was walking towards the altar, he says, "'Look at me, look what I got. Look what I found.'"
"The world was watching us," he says, "but as far as I was concerned, it was just the two of us."
King Charles III notably walked Meghan down the aisle after her father's wedding debacle. "Harry's dad is very charming and I said to him, like, 'I've lost my dad in this,'" Meghan explains. "So him as my father-in-law was really important to me. I asked him to walk me down the aisle and he said yes."
Harry & Meghan is now streaming on Netflix.